Saudade
by Yarisazame
Summary: After his dramatic betrayal, Aizen retreats to Hueco Mundo with Tousen and Gin, only to find that his long-suppressed desire for Gin is resurfacing. He can't quite grasp the concept of love so how can he fall victim to the human taint? Be warned, falling in love with a snake is deadly business. AiGin.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: School has just started. For me, that means quite a lot of stress since I'm taking advanced classes that are rather difficult in their own right. I've decided, knowing that writing helps me to reduce stress, to start writing a lengthy Aizen x Gin story. I figure that by the time it is done, it will be at novella or novel length. Because the story is in Aizen's point of view, I'm hoping that it will capture Aizen's true thoughts on Gin. And since we can't necessarily read Gin's thoughts, I'm thinking of writing a companion story in Gin's point of view so that we may see what he's thinking as events progress.

Warnings: Aizen x Gin. Language. Violence.

* * *

Chapter One: The Defection and Emotion

I love the situations I get into. Maybe it was because of how I handled them, my smile angering my enemy and my gaze cold and calculating, yet warm; a form of mockery all its own. Or maybe it was knowing the fact that I could handle whatever happened since no one in the Soul Society was as manipulative and cold as myself. I smirked at the thought and slightly shifted my neck, feeling the cold blade press into my neck in a threatening manner.

"It's over, Aizen." Yoruchi shifted her gaze toward me, as if daring me to make a snide remark. I looked upward slightly so that my glasses would hide my eyes and smiled. I heard Soi Fon draw a breath in anticipation while she pressed her leg against my arm with more pressure to keep it there. I felt the gaze of every soul reaper that currently surrounded Kaname, Gin, and I.

Yoruichi looked at me as she narrowed her eyes slightly. "What's so funny, Aizen?"

"Yeah. Sorry, but...it's time." My answer was vague but it held the truth. Yoruichi's eyes went wide as she realized what I meant and she screamed to Soi Fon. Both of the women jumped back while the rift in the sky opened and the powerful beam of light known as Negacion fell upon me. The gasps of the soul reapers were music to my ears as they heard the Menos Grandes screech and tear the rift open even more. I listened to Omaeda as he commented on their shear numbers and to Hisagi, who noticed the light far in the rift.

The other two Necagion shot down from the rift and enveloped Kaname and Gin, forcing the two lieutenants who had caught them to retreat. I heard Gin talking to Rangiku and the word "sorry" before the rock beneath my feet started to crack and lift into the air. Iba started running towards me, ready to try a futile attack when the Head Captain ordered him to stop. I smirked in amusement and listened to the petty exchange of words and explanation of what a Necagion was. Just moments afer the Head Captain's explanation, Komamura started to shout at Kaname, asking where his sense of justice was. I decided not to listen to Kaname's spew about his path of justice and settled my gaze on Jushiro Ukitake, who was staring at me in disbelief.

"You've joined with the Menos. What are you trying to achieve?" Ukitake asked me.

"To go higher." I simply replied. It was the truth but I wasn't_ trying_ to achieve god status, I was_ going_ to.

He appeared to be surprised and shouted at me. "Have you fallen in the process, Aizen?!"

"You are arrogant with your self-righteous views." I stated and gazed upon all of the soul reapers. "No one stands on the top of the world. Not you, not me, not even the Gods do. However..."

Ukitake glared up at me, waiting for my next statement. The tension was mounting.

"But now the unbearable vacancy in the sky is over." I continued while I swept my hair back and pulled my glasses off my face. "From now on, I'll be the one standing at the top."

The glasses broke. My sharp eyes took in the view of the faces watching us. Even the Ryoka seemed to be in shock as I bid everyone farewell. Then I looked at the substitute Soul Reaper that I had cut down earlier. His eyebrows were drawn together and his eyes were narrow, a challenging gaze. It was a shame that I had to cut him down, but he had interefered with my retrieval of the Hogyoku. I knew we would cross swords sometime in the future.

"And goodbye to you, Ryoka boy. For a human you were very interesting." I smirked and faced the rift's opening.

It was time to leave this dreadful place. The Menos took all three of us in their hands and pulled us through the rift, permanently sealing us away from the Soul Society. It was about time. The Soul Society was a suffocating place and not where I wanted to die as a mere causality of war. I would be the very reason for war.

The betrayal that you can see is trivial. What's truly fearsome is the betrayal that you can't see.

* * *

Kaname said nothing and appeared unaffected as the Menos started to head toward Las Noches but Gin seemed to be nervous as he looked around. I decided to look around as well and saw nothing but white and I felt slightly disappointed.

Hueco Mundo was unbearable to look at but that can't be helped at the moment. I admit that I should have already made the changes I had in mind but sometimes I don't plan very well. I sighed and promised myself not to overthink about all of the small details. Anything that wasn't to my satisfication could be attended to in due time. Right now I was leading my boy and Tousen to Las Noches, our temporary safe haven. I knew it would take some getting used to but Las Noches was really something to behold. I had assigned my most trust Espadas to build it so it better live up to my expectations.

The Menos set us down a few hundred yards away from the beginning of Las Noches and wandered away. I frowned because I wanted them to take us closer but then again, the Menos weren't the smartest of the hollows. I took a deep breath to regain my composure and started walking toward the white buildings of Las Noches.

"Mah, this place sure is a whole lotta white." Gin said aloud. "Doesn't look like much fun."

"You'll change your mind once we reach the fortress." I told him in reply without even bothering to look at him. I knew he would change his mind because in the fortress I had Szayel, my favored technical espada, install two control rooms. One would be for Kaname and the other for Gin. Somehow I already knew that having the power to rearrange the halls would entertain Gin for quite some time, especially when the time came that intruders wandered the halls. I would be sure to remind him that messing with me, however, would be strictly forbidden.

"I'm sure I will. It would be an insult to Captain Aizen if I didn't." Gin replied.

My lips stretched into a small smile at what he said but niether Gin or Kaname saw it. The rest of the way was walked in silence until we reached the entrance of Las Noches. Gin gasped as he took in the large structure that was Las Noches, viewing the main building and several smaller buildings and pillars surrounding it. Like the rest of Hueco Mundo everything was white and plain. I wanted to keep Las Noches as simple looking as possible despite my secret hatred of the color white.

"Szayel is expecting us so no one will be bothering us when we enter. You aren't likely to see any of the Espadas right now but you may get a glimpse of a few Arrancar running around. Just ignore them for now." I told them both. "Follow me and I will explain everything about the fortress when we are sitting down and comfortable."

Kaname nodded obiediently like the well-trained dog I crafted him to be. Gin, on the other hand, kept his usual large smile and hummed his approval. I always liked Gin's vague way of obeying me as if he didn't care to but still did it anyway. Kaname and Gin were very different and I had to say I liked my boy better. He had that small amount of resilience that kept me wondering if he was truly loyal to me but deep down I knew that he was. My Gin had always been special to me though I don't know if I'll ever tell him. Rejection would devastate me.

I pushed the doors open that led into the entrance way of Las Noches. Szayel was true to his word. Not a single Espada or Arrancar came to see who was entering the fortress. I was pleased that my first order out of many more to come was obeyed and executed perfectly. I had a satisfied smile on my face as I led Gin and Kaname to the Espada Meeting Room. The floors were blue tiles while the rest was all white to keep the simplicity.

"So is this the meeting room you told us about? I have to admit it looks better than what I expected it to look like." Gin commented and sat down in one of the many chairs framing the elongated table.

I sat down in the larger chair while Kaname remained standing off to the side of it. What a hopeless fool. "I let Ulquiorra and Halibel construct a large majority of it because I knew that they wouldn't dare to make a mistake. I also had Starrk aide with the construction of the smaller buildings of Las Noches. Do you think they did a nice job, Gin?"

"Yes, you were wise in your decision to pick them." Gin's smile grew larger with his reply. "Care to tell us more about the rooms in this place?"

"Of course. There are two throne rooms for myself but I will allow others in them. However, there is the one with a balcony that I will only allow you and Kaname to enter with the exception of expected arrivals. Then there are two controls rooms for you both that contain the cameras monitoring Las Noches. There is also a control panel in each room that will allow you to move the hallways around." I explained to them both and watched Gin's face fill with amusement. "There are also your personal rooms, bathrooms, and the kitchen. The Espada also have their rooms and I would advise you both to not disturb them. Some of them are not friendly."

"You are providing us with everything Lord Aizen." Kaname replied. "Thank you for such kindness."

I shrugged slightly. "What would this palace be if it had no comfort for it's inhabitants? We may be spiritual beings but we still have our needs."

"Well, I'm already starting to like this place." Gin chirped.

"I'm glad to know that you are. This concludes what I have to say for now but I will explain more later. You are both free to go and explore." I waved them off.

Kaname bowed silently beforing leaving the meeting room. Gin stood up slowly and stretched lazily before taking his first steps to leave the room. I admired his thin frame hidden beneath all of those clothes. My mind started to picture what Gin would look like if some of those clothes were gone. I gulped and I suddenly felt a change of heart and stood rapidly. Gin hadn't noticed and continued to walk until I was beside him, my hand resting firmly on his shoulder. He froze and turned his head to look at me.

I need to restrain myself.

"Something wrong Captain Aizen?" He asked me with that mocking voice of his. "You normally don't have physical contact with me."

I stepped closer to him. "I would appreciate it if you would come with me to the throne room with the balcony. I want to exchange some words with you in absolute privacy. Do you mind, Gin?"

"Not at all." Gin shook his head and grinned. "I know that I couldn't refuse if I wanted to."

I tightened my grip on his shoulder and smirked. "Smart boy. Let's go, Gin."

Gin's body was tense under my touch. Now that I think about it, I never hurt him in any way or touched him to make him stiffen like that. I came to the conclusion that because we were alone together he was afraid of what I would do. He should know better than that. But then I started to wonder if someone had touched him and made him afraid of being alone with another person. I needed to find out as soon as possible or it would interfere with the plans I had in mind.

We stepped into the throne room in a matter of minutes and even I was impressed. The balcony gave the viewer a spectacular view of Hueco Mundo and the moon that shone brightly in the dark sky. Gin walked over to the balcony instantly, as if drawn to it, and rested his hands on the edge of the marble rail. I did nothing but observe him. The moonlight was making his hair shine beautifully and bringing out the paleness of his skin. A pale beauty.

I began to think about Gin in ways that I tried to resist doing for nearly one hundred years. It was beyond difficult because of the way he simply stood and breathed. The way he even turned his head to look at me made me feel insane. Everything he does makes me want him. Underneath that disgusting soul reaper uniform was a lean and lithe body that I wanted to be mine and mine alone. Soft skin that only my fingers would touch. Underneath that mask was a beautiful person whose eyes I wanted to only look at me and whose lips would only touch mine. I wanted him for myself like the selfish beast I am. I knew this was on the borderline of lust but it was a lust that I've managed to control for over one hundred years.

"Captain Aizen, aren't you gonna join me? The moon is lovely tonight." He called out to me.

I approached him until I was standing directly behind him, my heart starting to pick up pace. "I couldn't agree with you more, Gin. The night of Hueco Mundo is eternal but beautiful nonetheless."

What is this I'm feeling? Is it because of you, Gin?

Gin merely nodded and leaned back against me almost in a casual manner. I wasn't completely sure why he was doing it but I didn't mind at all, not if it was Gin initiating physical contact with me first. I was actually happy that he seemed to be trusting me already. Despite having him under my wing for years upon years, I honestly never thought that Gin trusted me up until this very moment.

"I have a few things to tell you. They will take only a small fraction of your time." I told Gin and loosely wrapped my arms around him.

"Of course you do." He replied. "Time is in abundance for us."

"You're right, Gin." I praised him and he shifted in my arms. "The first thing I want to tell you is that your room is connected to mine if you need me. This would include any emergency that no one else can help you with or if you simply want to see me. The second thing I have to tell you is that there is a gift for you on your bed, courtesy of myself. I want you to accept my gift without any hesitation. The third thing is that I want you to question my true motives, what I'm trying to achieve, and figure out what is important to me."

Gin's breathing seemed to become light and shallow. I knew that he would start to figure out what my true intentions were and that he would be confused at first. Knowing this, I released him from my grasp reluctantly and stepped back. Gin leaned heavily on the balcony railing and took an odd number of deep breaths.

"Captain Aizen, what are you saying?" Gin asked and turned his body entirely to look at me.

"You'll figure it out in due time like the smart boy you are, Gin. You wouldn't be the same person I watched over for one hundred years if you couldn't." I replied in a smooth voice while finding my way over to a marble bench. "We have a lot to do in a few hours so you should go to your room and get settled. Each room has an engraving of ours names on the door so you should be able to find it."

Gin appeared to be debating on how to reply. I frowned. His body once again went rigid when I flashstepped beside him.

"Gin, I hope you don't intend to stand there." I told him sternly.

"Of course not, Captain Aizen. I'll leave now." He replied cautiously and turned to leave.

I sighed and sat back down on the bench, watching his retreating back until it disappeared into the hallway. Maybe I scared him too much? Maybe I should try to hold back from appearing scary in the subtle manner? I bit my lower lip in anxiety. If he was truly afraid of me but was still willing to play along nicely, it would really pose a problem to me. I wanted him to not fear me but _understand_ me and love me. What was love though? I felt confused since I was never close to anyone and then it suddenly just hits me out of nowhere.

"God damn it." I hissed. "Life truly is frustrating."

I propped my arm and rested my head on the flat surface of my fingers, thinking. I wanted Gin to be mine but there were several problems that stood in the way of that. The first problem was that he never truly opened up to anyone except that Matsumoto girl. It pissed me off that he cared for her so much but I never showed my anger or told him. It wouldn't be fair to him if I complained about someone he had known for a much longer time than myself. The second problem was that this new emotion called 'love' was making me confused. To love someone meant to make yourself vulnerable to that person but I didn't want to be seen with a weakness. However I was not entirely sure that Gin could ever become a weakness to me. He was far too intelligent to become too weak for me. I wanted a lover who was strong and understood me. Gin was my potential significant other. But how I can prove to him that I can love? No matter how loyal he was to me, he would still have his own opinions of me and I already knew that he thought I lacked certain emotions. Love is a new concept for me but I vowed to master it.

"Think Sosuke." I told myself. "How do you convince a sly and stubborn fox that you love him, without even knowing what the emotion_ is_?"

My mind went blank. I considered calling on Kyouka Suigetsu to aide me in figuring this out but she would most likely taunt me as she always does and answer in riddles. I sighed in frustration and stood up to walk to the balcony. The moon was shining brightly and grey clouds were moving across the black sky. I wasn't even sure how much time had already passed since we arrived in Hueco Mundo. Maybe hours had passed? With no actual change in the sky, it would be difficult to know the time and that would be quite bothersome. I decided to ponder fixing that later but right now I had an urge to see Gin again. It was starting to become clear to me that I couldn't stand not seeing him for even a few minutes. Well, that is if only a few minutes had passed since I last saw him.

I walked out of the throne room and down a long hallway that I already knew very well. My room was at the very end of it and Gin's room very close to it. I pushed the large doors open and stepped into my room. It was large and well decorated to suit my personal tastes. There were several paintings hung on the walls that depicted beautiful scenery in contrast to the room's white walls and Hueco Mundo's bare landscape. A red rug of the western style began only a few more feet away from the doors and met up with the edge of the bed. I looked at the bed and admired it's large wooden frame, soft comforters, and satin pillows. Then I narrowed my eyes to make out a shape on the bed. The Espada knew this was my room and wouldn't dare to even enter and niether would the Arrancar. So that left only two people that could be on my bed.

"Gin." I whispered lowly to myself after seeking out his spiritual pressure.

Gin was curled up and clutching the comforter as if it were a warm body. His hair was now messy and the silver strands obscured a part of his face from view. His lips were slightly parted and light pants of breath slipped between them occasionally. I didn't have the heart to move him. Even when asleep, my boy was a beautiful thing to behold. I could sit and stare at him all day if I wanted to but then nothing would get done.

I sighed and reluctantly tore my eyes away from the welcoming sight to undress. The captain's coat was the first thing I shed and I folded it neatly before placing it in the dresser near the bed. Maybe I'd have a use for that thing later. I pulled on my shirt until it came untucked from the hakama and I let it drop to the floor. Gin seemed to stir at the sound but didn't wake up. I smiled tiredly and climbed on the bed quietly so I wouldn't disturb him.

The bed was warm, especially since I had a little leech that decided to cling to me the moment he felt my body near. I wondered if Gin was conscious of the fact that he was clinging to me in his sleep but I decided I didn't really care. A small smile started to form on his face as he nuzzled his head in my chest, seeking more warmth. I let my arm drape lazily over his lithe body and listened to the sound of his steady breathing. Then I heard him softly groan in his sleep, as if he were in pain. I wouldn't allow that.

"Gin...shh. You're okay." I whispered in my regular, soothing tone.

Gin made another noise, a sigh of content, as I stroked his hair. Such fine strands of hair that slipped through my fingers, leaving a tingling sensation afterward. I let my hand go farther down to his neck, caressing the soft skin. Gin "mnn'd" at me and turn away from me though he still kept his back pressed against my chest. I chuckled silently in my head and closed my eyes, fully aware that I wouldn't get the luxury of sleep tonight.

* * *

It's been awhile since I've written a story on here so I may not be at peak performance. On the bright side, Gin and Aizen will be getting flirty here real soon while Aizen is still sorting out his emotions. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Honestly, I didn't mean for it to take me as long as it did to update. =_= I do sincerely apologize for the wait so to make up for it, I decide to re-write the ending of this chapter to make it more interesting. ;) Do tell if I made any grammar/spelling mistakes as I didn't proof read it at all.

Warnings: Aizen x Gin. Language. Violence.

* * *

Chapter Two: Flirting with the Snake

I haven't slept at all. My eyes have been closed for what seemed like hours but my mind has been awake the entire time. I already knew what the cause of my insomnia was, though, I should say _who_ the cause of my insomnia was. Gin was still nestled up to me, head on my chest, legs twined with mine, and arms pressed between our bodies cutely. I sighed and shifted away from him until I was freed from him. It was comical, however, watching Gin seek me out with his hands only to give a disappointed whine and curl up into the sheets. I stood up and plucked my forgotten shirt from the floor and put in on, neatly tucking it in.

"Sir?" A soft voice called out to me from behind the door.

Ulquiorra.

"Come in. But do be quiet about it." I replied and moved in front of Gin before he could open the door.

The pale Espada slowly opened the door, entered, and didn't bother to shut it. He knew he wouldn't be here long anyway. I watched him silently as he walked until he was standing in front of me, his green eyes meeting mine with confidence.

"Planning for the uniforms is going well but getting measurements from everyone is taking longer than expected." He told me with no emotion behind his voice.

"I see. I already know someone who can deal with the uniforms so don't worry yourself over it." I replied and sighed after a moment of thinking. "Is there any breakfast?"

"Yes Sir." Ulquiorra nodded. "We have replicated the items you told us about that are eaten in the Soul Society. Shall I go retrieve it?"

"No." My eyes wandered over to the bed, seeking out Gin's sleeping form. "It won't be needed right now but thank you my loyal one."

Ulquiorra's lips twitched slightly with the praise and with a sharp, "yes Sir", he was gone. I figured that I probably humored him with the praise and breakfast idea which didn't really surprise me. The pale man did have a sense of humor but drawing it out was a difficult challenge.

"Mnn..." The sound of Gin started to awaken broke my train of thought.

I walked over to the bed and sat down near him, watching. The sight of Gin waking up was always amusing for being his former captain, I witnessed it often. He started by making a muffled noise, then he stretched his lithe body until he was satisfied, then he cracked one eye open to look around before sitting up and yawning. I smirked as I watched the process and held back a rumble of laughter when his eyes settled on me and widened.

"Captain Aizen?! Waaaaah!" Gin shrieked and jumped back, falling from the bed.

"Oh Gin..." I chuckled and crawled across the bed and leaned over to look at him. "You poor boy."

Gin blinked and closed his eyes, a small scowl now present. "Ya scared me!"

"That really isn't my fault, Gin. You're the one who crawled in my bed, cuddled up to me, and tried to kill me with your death grip." I replied and watched with amusement as his eyes flew open sharply.

"We slept together?" Gin blinked and looked at the ground.

"Gin?" I climbed off the bed and kneeled beside him. "What's wrong?"

"What happened last night...?" Gin looked up at me with the expression of fear though he was trying so very hard to hide it with a small grin.

I sighed. "You accidently went into my room and fell asleep. Nothing happened."

"Oh. I see." Gin stood up and was silent, adding to the awkwardness of the moment.

I stood beside him and thought about what I should say. "You should probably go find your _real_ room and check it out."

Gin nodded and stood with me. He remained silent and then he walked away. I couldn't resist sneaking a peek at him as he left, my eyes travelling down. When he was gone, I sighed and flopped back on the bed, my mind overcrowding with thoughts of what to do next. Should I introduce them to the Espadas and Arrancar? Should I begin preparations for the Hogyoku? Should I have start planning my attack strategies? I groaned, feeling the beginnings of a headache and sat up.

_Is acheiving God status making you happy so far, Master Sousuke?_

Kyouka Suigetsu.

I narrowed my eyes. Her tone was dripping with sarcasm and I knew that she was going to beat me up mentally.

"So far, it's been stressful. I have many things to accomplish yet." I replied simply and sat up.

_I won't disagree. Attempting to become a God is a stressful job but I would like to think that I know you very well, Sousuke, and it's not your ambition making you stress out. I am a part of you, Sousuke, and I feel what you feel and we have a similar thought process but you already know that. Why are you trying to confuse yourself?_

"I am not trying trying to confuse myself. You have it wrong." I snapped.

_Oh? You're only digging your hole deeper by saying that I am wrong. You are attempting to confuse yourself, not willing to except that a mere boy could have such an effect on you. _

I sighed. "He's no mere boy. Wait...damn you! You tricked me!"

Her laughter echoed in my head.

_We both are masters of mind games but I remain more subtle than you. Just admit it, that boy that you've watched for a hundred years arouses you, interests you, and makes you crazy. _

"Fine. He does all that you mentioned and more."

_Oh? You finally admit something? The world must really be coming to an end as we know it. Sousuke I'm happy that you can admit something as..._

"Humiliating." I interrupted her.

_Oh, of course. It must truly humilate you to admit you like that boy and that you have fallen to that, oh, what do you call it? Human taint? _

"Tch." I growled. "Love is unbecoming of me. But somehow, Gin is different. It's like he exists to make me love him when I have never understood such a useless emotion."

_How poetic. I suggest that you learn how to deal with your human taint then, hm? Your confusion affects me and annoys me. Shinso is scared away from me when I try to visit him. _

"Shinso? You mean you visit with him when I have never granted you such permission?"

_Yes, I visit with him. You are always busy with your planning and never visit me. And don't you dare act as if you are higher than me, Sousuke, because you are not. I am a part of you and we are equal in strength. Don't forget your reliance upon my power. Anyway, Shinso won't talk to me and he's been acting nervous and you know as well as I do that zanpakuto are reflections of their masters._

I sighed. "You're right Kyouka Suigetsu. Forgive my moment of superiority-craving but what are you saying? Would you happen to be suggesting that I am making Gin nervous with my subtle acts of kindness?"

_Forgiven you are. And yes, you are making the boy nervous because you never bothered with such things up until now. He's not used to it Sousuke and you saw how he acted when you touched him. Something obviously happened to him to make him like that. He knows you wouldn't hurt him. _

"What can I do then? If something happened to him, what can I do? I can't just erase it from his memory and make him happy again." I clasped my hands together and hung my head. "It doesn't work like that. If what you say is true, it will stop me altogether with my plans of trying to be with him."

_Just be kind to him and when he's at his most comfortable with you, talk to him. You are a master of observation so this should be no problem for you. And a fair warning to you before I leave you alone; lust isn't love. Don't make a sexual advance on that boy unless you are dead certain he wants it. You will scare him away forever if you try. _

I nodded. "I may be a monster in some cases but rape is something I don't intend to happen to Gin."

_Good. By the way, I suggest you think about doing something about Hueco Mundo's eternal night. It's rather dark in the desert, don't you think?_

"It is." I agreed. "I will decide what to do about the sky later."

_You know...Master Sousuke...a sky so very blue would look like his eyes._

"Indeed." I replied while fixing my shirt. "When do you propose that I do this?"

No response from my zanpakuto.

I laid back on the bed again. The headache that I thought would develop was apparent no more and for once I was relaxed and somewhat happy. Tonight is one of the few nights that the moon of Hueco Mundo would turn blood red against the velvet sky and illuminate every light surface with a ruby tone. I had chosen our arrival time carefully so that we wouldn't miss it.

Gin.

His name echoed in my mind and I was reminded of my present for him. I sat up and went to the closet, a rather empty one except for a neatly folded kimono. Light blue in color to match the color of his eyes when they so rarely opened and with golden designs to match his brilliance; it was the perfect gift for him. I just hoped that he would think so as well.

I grabbed the kimono carefully so it wouldn't wrinkle and flashstepped out of my room to Gin's room, which was empty. I looked around for any sign of the silver haired man but he was nowhere to be seen. I went to his neatly made bed and placed the kimono in the center. My ears picked up the slightest noise of Gin chatting with Tousen further down the hall. My spiritual pressure dropped to nothing and I carefully made my way back to my room.

"I hope he likes it." I murmured to myself and straightened out my shirt again, deciding to go visit with Szayel. The scientist had told me about a new invention of his that he would love for me to see so right now was the perfect time.

_Buying time, Sousuke. Buying time.  
_

* * *

Consumable Fraccion. That is what my dearly beloved scientist wished to share with me. Of course, I didn't tell him that I would never need it because my own power far exceeded all of the Espadas put together. I didn't want to crush the man's spirit.

"See? If you're injured in battle with even a scratch, just take a bite out of one of them and it vanishes. Essentially, their power heals you right up." Szayel giddly told me before taking a bite out of one of his Fraccion as it squealed in terror, healing small knicks and bruises that he allowed me to give him from a friendly sparring match.

No injuries on me of course.

"Well done, Szayel. Your mind is far superior to that wretched scientist from Squad Twelve." I complimented him. "Please continue making such inventions for they are quite handy, don't you think?"

"Yes Lord Aizen!" Szayel bowed to me, his cheeks flushed from my praise.

Without another word, I flashstepped from his palace back to the main fortress. I noted that the moon had changed positons but barely and I was reminded of the earlier conversation with Kyouka Suigetsu, in which she advised me about the sky.

Maybe Gin would like a changing sky as opposed to this one? This sky would never change without my intervention and I knew Gin bored of unchanging things so easily. Perhaps he would even view it as a gift from me to him but from what Kyouka Suigetsu told me, such an act of kindness on my part may make him uneasy.

I mentally sighed and pushed the thought to the back of my mind. I noted that a few Arrancars that wandered the fortress but stopped and bowed immediately once they saw me and waited until I passed them to stand upright and continue whatever they were doing. A small smirk formed on my lips at the gesture but disappeared once I entered my bedroom and saw Gin sitting on my bed. Furthermore, he had the kimono that I left for him neatly folded on his lap.

"Gin."

He looked at me briefly before standing and holding the kimono nervously in his grasp. "I just want to know if you know what this is. I...already asked a few Arrancars that I saw if they knew but they didn't."

I wanted to say something back to him but I didn't. I waited in anxiety.

"I have a hunch that you know what this is, Captain Aizen." Gin continued and started walkly so slowly until he was right in front of me, looking me in the eye. "And I...I just can't accept such an extravagant..."

"Gift." I finished for him while forcing my frown away. "It's a simple gift for the upcoming change in the sky. I know that you bore of things so easily and I also know that you tend to get mischevious when you're bored so I decided to cure it before you do anything obnoxious."

_Nice save Master._

"I see." Gin looked away, fidgeting with the kimono. "I guess that I can't refuse this. Especially since it came from you."

I reached out and touched his hand. "Perhaps you'd like to try it on here? I want to make sure it fits you."

He looked at me curiously for a moment but nodded. "Of course."

I held the kimono for him while he proceeded to undress. His shirt was the first thing to come off which revealed soft skin covering sleek muscle that I could have admired all day. Next were the pants which revealed his long, delicate legs. I swallowed dryly and carefully handed the kimono over to him during which, our hands touched again.

"Let me know if you need help with it." I told him and averted my gaze elsewhere.

The sound of rustling fabric lead me to conclude that he was already dressing.

_I bet you really want to look at him right now._

I shushed my zanpakuto and looked at Gin once more. Stunning. A stunning creature he was. The kimono fit him snuggly and the blue color matched his eyes which were still closed at the moment. He looked back at me uncertainly.

"Well?"

"It suits you well as I thought it would." I replied with a small smile. "But please open your eyes."

Gin bit his lower lip as if in deep thought and after a few unbearable moments, he shook his head. "I can't."

"Why not, Gin?" My frown was in place already. "Why won't you show them to me? They are certainly most beautiful I assure you. Won't you let me gaze upon all of your beauty?"

_So cheesy. Shall I bring out the crackers?_

My silver-haired fox stared at me a moment more before slowly opening his eyes and I was truly stunned. The kimono's color made his eyes stand out even more and they shone so brightly in the dim-lighted room. I couldn't help but to stare into his eyes, captivated. But as I looked into his mysterious eyes even more, something became quite apparent to me.

There was a burning hatred behind those exquisite eyes.

Gin closed his eyes quickly and looked away. "I have shown you my emotions by doing that. A snake is a sly creature, seeking out prey with its tongue, swallowing the targets whole. It doesn't like to be discovered. It doesn't like to reveal that it has emotions."

I nodded numbly. "Is that...what you feel for me? Do you truly hate me, Gin?"

He swallowed, looked at his sword that was laying on his bed, and then looked at me. "I have a simple name to describe why I feel the hatred that I do: Rangiku."

With that name, Gin brought out memories of my days serving as the lieutenant of Squad Five. I remember taking most of her spirit energy and leaving her to die. I remember how Gin and Rangiku had a friendship as kids. I remember him apologizing to her right before we left that disgusting place.

"I see." My hand was already on Kyouka Suigetsu's hilt, wary. "I suppose you hate me enough to kill me, don't you?"

Gin was already beside the bed, holding Shinso lazily in his grasp. He looked at me once more, eyes open, showing their killing intent.

"I do."

My heart felt as if it stopped. The one person I wanted to love wanted to kill me. I felt numb.

_SOUSUKE YOU FOOL!_

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And that is it for now. I apologize for the ending of this chapter but I'm sort of a sucker for cliffhangers. Hm...the atmosphere of this chapter certainly changed quickly, didn't it? I suppose it fits Gin's true personality though. Oh, and don't worry. There _will _be romance between Aizen and Gin but I'm building their relationship from the ground on up. Baby steps, baby steps.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I am so very sorry for the long wait. I've been sick since January and was unable to update. I just started getting better this month though I am still somewhat sick but I'm hoping it will go away with some consistent, warm weather. Because of long wait, I feel obligated to update a bit quickly in the next month so be sure to stick around and look for these updates.

Warning: Aizen x Gin. Language. Violence.

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Chapter Three: Devil's Dance

He was gone. My blank expression changed to one of sorrow. Normally I would be smirking, taunting my enemy, enticing them to fall deeper into intense hatred until they drowned in it and were felled by my blade. This was not the case at the moment. I could not bring myself to smirk in pleasure or frown in agitation. My lips were pressed, my eyebrows furrowed, my own eyes burning with sadness.

I turned, raising Kyouka Suigetsu. The clang of metal reached my ears which surprised me as numb as I felt. He was in front of me now, blue eyes open and fiery. His arm trembled as his zanpakuto scraped against mine, a spray orange sparks coming dangerously close to our faces. His mouth was open. He was screaming at me. I vaguely heard him.

"...you selfish prick! You wounded the person closest to my heart! I-I can never care for anyone without fear that because I am close to them, they'll be killed! I hate you, Sosuke Aizen! Do you hear me?!"

_Sosuke, make him listen to you. Make him hear you out._

"Gin."

"I hate you!" Gin screamed at me. "I'd drive my zanapakuto through your heart if you had one!"

I listened intently. He was not incorrect. My heart had disappeared with the betrayal I experienced earlier in my life but somehow, I had brought myself to care for him. To love him. Did he not see that?

"Gin, please hear me out." What more can I ask for? I apparently hurt him. I can't ask for anything more.

My beloved narrowed his eyes to slits, a small shimmer of blue just barely visible, glaring at me. Piercing me. "Why the hell should I hear you out, Sosuke Aizen? You've done enough to me. You definitely are the most selfish bastard in existence. You only...you only care for what's in your best interests, chasing after your dreams which involve the bloodshed of the innocent!"

"I will not deny the truth, Gin. I do chase after my dreams but only because I think of you when I do." My tone was icy.

"Like hell you do!" He spat at me, applying more pressure with his zanpakutou, forcing Kyouka Suigetsu closer to my chest.

I pushed back defiantly. "I do. I care about you."

Gin cackled out a hiss. "I'm sure you do. Now, shoot to ki-!"

I wasn't going to let him kill me. At least, not until he heard what I really had to say. My grip loosened on Kyouka Suigetsu and I let it clatter to the floor. Surprised, Gin lost his balance, a rookie mistake due to his rage, and started to fall against me. Shinso went with him as well, sliding forward and slicing through my side. I cared not.

_Don't let him go, Sosuke. You love him. Make him listen to you._

"Listen to me, damn it!" I grabbed his wrists tightly as he yelled, shrieking in surprise. We fell to the floor almost too slow for it to seem real. I landed solidly on my back, my head smacking into the ground with a near sickening crack. Gin was on top, attempting to support himself on his forearms, panting heavily with shock. I was aware he was straddling me as well.

"Aizen..." He trailed off and tried to pull free.

I shook my head even though I could feel a dull ache beginning to throb. "Gin, listen. You are the only person I truly care about. Everything that I do, I always had you in mind. When I made you my lieutenant, I wanted to be close to you because you made me feel strange. I wanted to know you better and why you made me feel like that."

_Keep going._

Gin had closed his eyes, shaking his head in denial. I continued on with Kyouka Suigetsu's encouragement.

"Indeed, I do chase my dreams. I am selfish. But only because I want you to be mine. Coming here, we're away from the eyes of the soul reapers. They will never understand me, Gin. I want to believe...that you do. That somehow, even in your current rage, that you understand why I do certain things that seem crazy, even psychotic. I want to achieve a status where I can be with you and no one will care or be able to stop us. I want you in my life, Gin. I want _you_."

"No..." Gin shook his eyes, his fringe falling in his face, hiding it. "Not like this. You hurt...you hurt her."

I closed my eyes. The pain in the back of my head was becoming progressively worse. "Rangiku Matsumoto. Gin, I assure you, I honestly had no idea that she was your close childhood friend. If I had known that, I wouldn't have taken her spirit energy because I wouldn't have wanted to hurt you. Gin, please believe me."

My fox looked down me with beautiful open eyes despite some minor blood spatter on his face. His lips were set in a firm line as he thought about what I said. I could only hope that he believed me. It was the truth. The only truth that exists. I reached up slowly, cautiously, my fingertips barely brushing his cheek as he lifted his sword. He did not believe me.

He didn't love me.

_Master..._

I locked eyes with him, waiting. But the longer I watched, the more I couldn't understand. His arm was raised, Shinso pointing down at me, but his grip was lose, wavering. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips slightly parted. I furrowed my own eyebrows at him, sure I had read his intentions clearly a moment ago. Had he changed his mind? Did I look too pathetic to kill? My mind started swarming with thoughts that I couldn't control. Gin's image above me started to blur.

"Sosuke?" My own name seemed foreign to me, barely reaching my mind. Did he just say my name?

I finally started to notice a pooling wetness around my head before blackness overtook me.

"_Gin..._"

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Again, I sincerely apologize for not updating this! I just really wasn't up to writing while extremely sick but I did read all of the reviews and I'm so happy that you all like the story so far. Of course, that makes me feel a little worse since I know that some of you have been waiting a very long time for this chapter so in return, I plan on producing another chapter shortly. :)

**Note:** There will be an explanation in the following chapter as to why Aizen so easily passed out from hitting his head.

I hope you guys liked this chapter despite the fact that I left it off with another cliffhanger. xD And I know that the fighting scene is a little on the short side but Aizen is reluctant to even remotely injure Gin and would rather try and talk it out with him. He's such a lovesick sap, ne?


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